Love is just a huge misunderstanding. Like when he tells you he will love you forever, then tells you forever has to end sometime as he’s walking out the door. When you love the way she makes you feel so real and then you find out she’s got five more fools just like you. When you think someone else’s strength is going to save you until you realize how weak that strength is making you.I could ramble on forever about how messed up I think love is, about how I’ve been married twice, once for better, once for worse. How better and worse both ended in divorce(and for those of you counting on your fingers and toes trying to figure out how old I am I was like twelve the first time I got married). I can tell you how much love sucks or I could tell you about the time I was in love for just one night and it wasn’t so bad.
I was out at the Cats Meow with my friends Elizabeth and Danielle one Saturday night. We were drinking, dancing and having a pretty good time.Danielle and Liz went to get us fresh Crown and Cokes from the bar. I was two Crown and Cokes ahead of them so I was still on the dance floor when I saw him coming my way.
“You’re in danger, I’ve got to get you out of here” he said , as he reached for my arm.
He was gorgeous and that was a very original line, so I didn’t protest too much when he started urging me towards the front door.
He paused for a moment on the way out to grab a Brahma statue that was on the ground by the front door.
“We’ll need this for protection” he said, as I tried to pull away.
He tightened the grip on my wrist and started pulling me down Bourbon Street.All the while holding onto that hideous statue. It was about two feet tall, bright gold , and had a bowl at the God’s feet that looked like it was filled with salsa.
My friend Joe, from work had invited me to hang out with him and his friends that night. He was very cute and there was definately some chemistry.He was also very married, so I told him I had other plans and went out with my friends instead.I was really wishing at this point I had gone out with Joe instead.
The freak and I were attracting a lot of attention on the street. I’m not sure if it was my screaming or the fact that this guy was waving a thrift store God around,
spilling salsa everywhere while he was yelling at me to shut up.
I couldn’t believe that no one was trying to help me. No one spoke up while we were making our way down Bourbon. No one tried to intervene when we dissapeared down a dark side street. After a few more turns there was no one else to beg for help. So I started begging him. I begged him not to hurt me, begged him to bring me back to the bar, begged him to let me call my friends.
“Are you drunk?” he asked ” Have you heard a word I’ve said to you?
You were in danger in the bar. THEY were coming for you. I’m here to protect you.”
Five thugs were watching us from across the street. I guess they didn’t get a lot of entertainment on this street. I could tell they were trying to figure out how to benefit from our situation. I was freezing and it was starting to rain. I was really wishing I had gone out with Joe.
“Please let me call my friends.” I begged again as he shook his head no. “I don’t want my friends to think THEY got me .
“One phone call” he said, softening a bit for a moment. “Don’t tell them where we are.”
I dialed Danielle’s number. She answered on the first ring, so I knew they weren’t in the bar anymore.
“Danielle, it’s me Sherry” he slapped the phone out of my hand before I could tell her about the freak, the statue, the salsa, the disregard for human life on Bourbon Street. My phone was on the ground in a million little pieces before I could tell her that I was cold and wet, that there were five thugs circling overhead like vultures. The freak looked like he was about to snap, but I beat him to it.
“Why the fuck did you do that? You said I could call her. I didn’t tell her where we are. I don’t even know where the hell we are. “I screamed, slapping him the whole time.
“Why did you say your name was Sherry?” he asked spitting when he said my name.
I just stood there not knowing how to answer. “Because that’s my name” might have been a good enough answer for him if he was on crack. But it might have gotten me killed if he was psychopathic or on pcp.
“You’re not Maria, are you?” he asked, letting his head drop.
“I’m not.” I answered .
His head dropped even lower as he knocked me down and turned to walk away.
“You can’t just leave me here.My friends don’t know where I am.
You broke my fucking phone. You have to bring me back to the bar.”
“You have no idea what kind of night I’ve had tonight, Sherry.” he said as the top of his head began to turn silver.
“Do you know how many times I ‘ve saved your life tonight?” he asked, his eyes morphing into shiny, metallic marbles.
“First, I saved your world from an alien takeover.” The silver slid down his face until his lips became hard and unmoving.
“I had to fight that Lycan in the bathroom, in the Howling wolf, While you were in the stall doing whatever it is that you girls do in there.” His words were coming from somewhere deep and floating up and out of a hole in his metal throat.
His robotic hand tightened around my wrist. ” I’ve been protecting you…you dizzy, drunk, self-centered bitch all night, protecting you. And your not Maria.”
“Please don’t leave me here.” I cried.
“Bite my shiny, metal ass ,lady.” he said, as he morphed into a mercury puddle and slithered down a drainage hole in the street.
The thugs were no longer across the street. Three of them were right there on top of me so I grabbed the statue. I hit two of them with my Hindu god and somehow managed to get salsa in the third thugs eyes. I took off running across the street , and was almost hit by an approaching car.
It was Joe. He had run into my friends and he had come looking for me. I really loved him at that moment. I wanted to bring the statue with me, for protection.
“You don’t need it anymore ” Joe said pointing at his dashboard dieties, a Brahma and a five inch Virgin Maria. It didn’t make sense, but it didn’t matter.
We sat in his car , his nice warm car, and we laughed until we cried.
I stared into Joe’s blue eyes for the longest time, trying to make sense of it all.
I fell in love with him that night. I ran my fingers through his blond hair. There was no misunderstanding, as we fucked in his car. I knew that I would love him forever, but I never told him. He held my hand and made me listen to Elvis, but he never made any promises. I made him feel real, for a moment. His strength saved me without making me weak. And there was no misunderstanding.
